The Choice We All Have

Things are heating up around here.

Lots of serious problems surfacing, bubbling, looming...

You all know those times, right?

Not that anything horrible HAS happened-

just issues, obstacles, tensions, curveballs, 

possible BIG problems coming...

It is in these moments
(especially for this mama at 5am...)

 that we all have a choice.

"Choice?" You say,

"All these problems and miseries are happening to me!"

"I have no choice!"

And yes, dear ones - you are right.

We don't have a choice in what is happening around us most times.

But we DO have a choice in how we respond.

TRUST

PEACE

JOY

REST

CONTENTMENT

LOVE

OBEDIENCE

Hmm.......

what does the Word of God say about worry?

And who of you by worrying and being anxious can add one unit of measure 

(cubit) to his stature or to the span of his life?

Matthew 6:27(AMP)

So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble.

Matthew 6:34 (AMP)

Ok - God it God.  Do not worry.
Do.Not.Worry.

BUT
what DO I DO?

Late at night when my defenses are down - 

when my heart is breaking

when tears loom up when I think about what is happening...

 What do I do????

It is in these moments that this choice is clear.

We can worry...

trust in our feelings...

let our thoughts carry us off...

let the emotions rule...

OR we can choose

how to think

how to behave

how to speak.

 We can choose!

Now, I'm saying that this is an easy choice to make.

Those fears are LOUD!

Those negative thoughts are RELENTLESS!

Those worries are HEAVY!

I love reading the psalms.

Not that David was a perfect man

but there is a transparency in how he shares with us.

In Psalm 42 I love how David speaks to his inner self-
Why are you cast down, O my inner self? And why should you moan over me and be disquieted within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him, my Help and my God.(v5)

 But then he goes on to say -
O my God, my life is cast down upon me [and I find the burden more than I can bear]; therefore will I [earnestly] remember You from the land of the Jordan [River] and the [summits of Mount] Hermon, from the little mountain Mizar.(v6)

Did you catch that?

He remembers! 
He remembers God's promises-
God's faithfulness in his own life-
 All the times that He has taken care of the situation-

We need to put before us rememberences of His faithfulness!

We need to speak of all He has done!

And yes, I even talk out loud
(and even yell sometimes)

 The louder the fear-
the stronger I will proclaim of His promises!

The stronger the worry-
the louder I will proclaim of His faithfulness!

I do want to pause briefly and say
I am not one for "casting out" fears, worries, etc.
I truly believe that light and darkness cannot coexist...
THEREFORE
if I speak of His goodness, His faithfulness, His promises, 
His truths, His holiness, His righteousness, His love...

are you getting it?

Are we clear?

Do you hear me, self?

My God is...
faithful
holy
righteous
merciful
unchanging
my defender
my comforter
love
truth
all-powerful
ever-present
sovereign
just

and so much more!

He is!

And, in giving not only my problems over to Him
but also surrendering my worries and fears
He is able to work.

Faithful God.

"Hear my cry, O God;
Attend to my prayer.

From the end of the earth I will cry to You,
When my heart is overwhelmed;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

For You have been a shelter for me,
A strong tower from the enemy.

I will abide in Your tabernacle forever;
I will trust in the shelter of Your wings. Selah"

Psalm 61:1-4

Steppin' Out!

Ok - for those of you who don't know me

or certainly don't know the details of what it took God

to bring us to this place may not see this post 

as anything significant.

 BUT ...

This decision for our family was HUGE.

It needed to be made, but it was HUGE.

He gave us peace once we brought it to Him, but it was HUGE.

Are you getting it?

This was H.U.G.E.

Let me back up a bit first.

When God put the tug on our hearts for the orphan crisis

it was no problem to submit to it.

We knew immediately it was Him.

Then (our loving Savior knew our hearts and 

that we needed to be eased into it!) He began to reveal

that He was calling us to foster.

Again, not knowing our back-story this is no big deal,

but it was huge for us

because we spent years raising Bill's first two children

(from a prior marriage)

and raising children with other (unsaved) influences is HARD.

(and messy, and frustrating, and sad)...

Adoption?  No problem!

Fostering?  This would mean trying to "fix" other people's messes...

AGAIN. Ugh!

At first we totally rejected the idea - 

and then God brought me around - 

and a year later Bill submitted as well.

Our process through the foster system getting our home and 

family licensed was LONG and PAINFUL...

(and will have to share that in another post)

 Many times we wanted to just back out and go back to our

"normal" everyday lives.

But we serve a faithful God who called us to it

and He continued to be with us through it all.

So here we are, only 2 years licensed

and we were faced with a surprising decision.

The courts wanted to "fast-track" Skylar and 

wanted to know if we would adopt her.

Again, if you know our back story

we are fighting and praying so we can adopt

Amara and Aiyana...

DYFS regulations limit your minor count to 6

(including your bio children)

which means that if we said "yes" to Skylar

that our home would be closed to fostering.

Wow.

All that chaos and pain.

Two years.

Six total children.

Three awaiting adoption.

CLOSED

All that for only those few children, God?

ABSOLUTELY!

As I walk through this whole process I am amazed

at the love the Father has for His children.

All of them.

You.

Me.

and every one

(seen and unseen by the world)

But even more - 

His heart for the lost and forgotten!

The ones that don't have a voice.

That most of the world would rather just pretend didn't exist.

But God!

Again, our favorite words in scripture...

So there we were faced with placing our home on "closed"

and to be quite honest my first instinct was to say no.

But God eased my heart and showed me glipses of how our ministry

could and would continue.

He is opening doors to make adoption possible in the future

in a way that we never dreamed!

So we released it to Him and He brought us peace to say...

"YES!"

So Skylar is on her way to becoming forever ours!

A forever home for our littlest member :o)

Little, but not forgotten by her Father.

Born, barely survived, abused before she had even left the womb...

But God!

Her father has already surrendered custody and waiting on mom

(the courts are due to sever in January if she doesn't voluntarily)

Great God!

So join us on our first journey to adoption...

STEPPIN' OUT!!!!

  

 

A Change of Attitude

I just wanted to take a moment and share the follow up story 

to the dear man of God that came out for our church's missions celebration.

Well for all of you who know me

and for the many of you who don't...

I don't get "starstruck".

I am not easily impressed by famous people.

I don't ever swoon over being near someone with clout.

but.....

Oh my goodness!

I was so giddy at what God was unfolding before my eyes

that I seriously had to give myself talks to calm down!

When I was speaking to the pastor that was coming

I actually found myself nervously babbling!

Me!

(too funny!)

And yes, it was a wonderful two days filled with

focusing on missions here and abroad...

and best of all...

hearing the Word preached to challenge our hearts.

 

 Pastor Dwight shared about his multicultural family

(Bill and I always said we want a "rainbow" family so we loved seeing his!)

and he shared the mission that God had sent him (and his family) on...

 and our precious Heavenly Father sent a message through this dear man

straight to the hearts of our church.

"We Get To!"

 You see - Dw spoke about changing our attitude 

when it came to the things 

that we do...

in ministry...

in life....

It is a privilege to serve Him.

It is an honor to follow Him.

We owe Him everything...

and He owes us nothing.

n.o.t.h.i.n.g.

Tears brimmed in my eyes as I processed
this beautiful thought...

Our Father has allowed us to partake 
of His plans and purposes
all around us - 

Once we are "in Christ" our life is no longer our own
it is His and His alone
to be used for His holy purposes.

At that moment, the "have to's" in life
miraculously become "get to"!

I don't HAVE TO serve my family...
I GET TO!

I don't HAVE TO serve in church...

I GET TO!

I don't HAVE TO care for His children that are lost and alone...
I GET TO!

This change in attitude means everything in a kingdom
where our King looks at our heart,
not our actions.

Doing the right thing with the wrong attitude does not impress God.
Not.at.all.

He is looking for His faithful children to serve Him 
without question
without complaining
without showmanship
without boasting or bragging
without picking and choosing which projects we are called to do.
(since if we pick them we will choose a really impressive one)

So, as I continue to move through this season in my life
I am working toward keeping my eyes on the One who called me to this walk.
Knowing that He will provide me with the strength and endurance that I need
to continue His journey for me and for my family.

We "GET TO!"

Remembering!

A faithful woman of God has challenged me yet again during her Memorial Box Mondays...

And although I have shared before - 

this time is different.

Why?

Because we are in the midst of a personal "storm" brewing...

and if I took my eyes off of Him
things could go

very wrong

very fast.

You see, God is teaching me through these "memorials"

-things that we put before our eyes that remind us of the faithfulness of our God

and His unwavering ability to do the impossible-

that He is still (and always will be)

Faithful

Able

Compassionate

Long-Suffering

 Miracle-Working

Head-Lifter

Healer

Almighty

Counselor

Defender

Creator

Good Shepherd

 Redeemer

Savior

Holy One!

And so much more of who He is!

And so - in the midst of my brewing worry

I take a moment to surrender it to Him

and focus on remembering His faithful deeds...

Healer

My faithful God brought my beautiful Amara into our lives

but with her she brought such saddness in her broken body...

 When we picked her up from the rehab facility all the staff loved her,

but they spoke often of all the difficulties that she would encounter-

All the things she might not be able to do-

Even now, when I go back and read her hospital reports

my eyes well with tears at all her little body had to endure.

(and all before she turned 2 months old)

They used words like "non-accidental trauma"

"failure to thrive"...

But the reality was she had 

11 fractured vertebrae

a fractured femur

a fracture on her cheekbone
healed scars from cigarette burns

and numerous old scars and bruises...

All before she was 2 months old...

And even as the doctors and nurses gave us updates on our newest treasure
we would look them straight in the eyes and let them know
"That's okay.  Our God is able!"

No wavering.
We just KNEW.

And, yes
our Faithful God has healed our princess
beyond what we could have asked or imagined!

This little, frail, treasure
has blossomed into a thriving toddler-heading-to-two!

Faithful God.
Mighty God.

Who was able to do more than we could ask or imagine.

And is still able.

I need to remind myself of that often.

He.is.still.able.
PERIOD.

She stands as a testimony to His faithfulness
to even those forgotten by most
but not her loving Father in heaven.

NEVER FORGOTTEN.

   

 

    

Unfolding Before My Eyes!

Well, I have been working on a post

but it seems to be sitting way to close

to that "holy place" within my walk...

maybe someday I will be able to share

but for now I wanted to share a sweet testimony.

This is precious because it shows so clearly

on how our Heavenly Father cares.

And that He will move heaven and Earth for His plans and purposes to unfold.

There is a slight disclaimer that comes with this testimony.

As with many areas in my life 

(and I'm guessing many of your lives as well)

the real testimonies don't read so crisp and clean

when they are happening right before us.

Rather, with hindsight, later we are able to sift through

and present pretty, cleaned-up, testimonies worth publishing.

So the disclaimer is:

I am still watching this unfold before my eyes...

(bear with the scattered nature of the events!)

Thank you.

No, really.  Thank you.

:o)

 So this story actually begins with a sweet woman of God

who found a wonderful blog...

of a beautiful Christian mama who loves God's abandoned children.

And that sweet woman of God 

shared the blog site with her friend

(another awesome young woman who has a heart for His children)

and that friend shared it with me.

So the stage is set, but several years will pass...

with me loving watching God move to bring children 

who have been 

written off...

discarded...

thrown away by society...

to a forever family of their very own!

And she has born witness time and time again

to the miracle-moving power that God can have in our lives

and in the lives of His children.

So as our story continues-

I fell in love with this precious family

who would do anything to follow God's call to help His precious ones...

even give up their secure position pastoring a church.

Wow!

During this time God had been preparing my family for ministry

to His precious children through the foster care system.

Broken, discarded, abused, brokenhearted.

Words that should NEVER be used when referring to children!

Our ministry here grew

and my dear bloggy friend's ministry grew 

and she continued to minister and share all that God was doing

for His love of the orphan.

Then one day

resting in His presence

I got BOLD...

I asked God to begin to show me His heart for the orphan.

And guess what?

He answered!

He begun revealing and unfolding such a powerful love!

These thoughts overwhelm me at times....

164,000,000 orphans worldwide

15,000 children die every day due to starvation

If I let my spirit rest on these numbers

I become very overwhelmed

very fast.

I am one person.

We are one family.

We can only make a difference to a relatively low number of these children.

(and yes I know it really matters to them- not downplaying that at all)

But what MORE could I do????

My precious, precious Father began teaching me

how to speak for Him.

How to share His heart for these children

and to not worry about making others "feel bad".

Now, I am not saying that everyone can adopt or foster

 but we can ALL do something.

SOMETHING!

Now during this time that God was showing me how to be more vocal

My pastor (love him!) preached one Sunday 

and included a story (about discouragement) and referenced

being out at a pastoral conference in Phoenix 

and the wisdom that had been shared there.

I sat in my seat thinking "I wonder if this is Linny's church?"

and then pastor mentioned the name of the church

and it was the same church!

Well, I was tickled and went home hoping to hop on the computer 

to share this sweet story about how her pastor blessed my pastor, etc.

and I opened her blog and read her post.

My jaw nearly hit the floor.

At the same time my pastor was talking about her church,

her husband (not a pastor at this church)

was PREACHING from their pulpit to 15,000 members.

I just stared at the post.

I just knew in my spirit that this wasn't a coincidence.  

God is about holy appointments.

And I just KNEW, ya know?

I didn't know what it meant, but I contacted Linny and shared the sweet

story and casually mentioned that I would love to have them come to our church.

She responded that they were planning a trip in the fall and that they would love to.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God would not let me forget those words.

I knew I had to try and bring this wonderful family to our pastor.

If God needs a voice, please let me be used!

So I swallowed my intimidation and fear

and tried to share this wonderful story in 3 minutes without rambling

(don't know if I actually accomplished it without rambling...)

But I just shared.

And asked him to pray about asking them to come.

That's it.  I left it there.

I was able to tell him to go to the link of this mega-church

and watch one of his sermons!

(something only God could orchestrate)

This was no little thing that this amazing man of God

was asked to preach a Sunday service from an altar which is normally only the 

senior pastors and the likes of Joyce Meyers...

Not one of their own 15 pastors on staff...

Dwight.

Faithful God.

Orchestrating a beautiful story!

So I left it with my senior pastor not knowing what would come of it.

Then my associate pastor (and my boss) asked me a few days later

if I knew any missionary who would be available for our Missions Banquet...

Oh boy!  Did I!

So I unfolded the story again for him and left it there.

In another week, they came to me asking to reach out and make contact 

to see if they would be available.

Now Linny had just posted the day before on how they were planning a missions trip

and that they were planning on leaving 

THE DAY BEFORE the missions banquet.

Ugh!

But I still reached out

knowing I serve a faithful God 

who was doing wonderful things behind the scenes.

Out on the other side of the county

3,000 miles away

this precious family had been praying for opportunities to open up

to go into churches!

The missions trip was having difficulties in the planning stages

and the details would not fall into place.

Dwight could come!

(and as soon as they began planning the details of the trip 

fell into place for the following week!)

 

What a faithful God...

lining up all of His children

to be in the right place

at the right time.

Using His Holy Spirit 

to orchestrate this beginning

of what prayerfully will grow

into more and more hearts opened for the orphan!

Yea God!

And yes, I am totally giddy for what is to come!

Stay tuned!