NOT on My Watch!

Well, a dear, sweet bloggy friend has unwittingly set a heart-cry in motion within my spirit...

(although I know she would be thrilled at the spark she started)

She used the phrase "Not on my watch..."

It has started something in me that is...

very PURPOSEFUL

very INTENTIONAL

very CONSISTENT

We (as sons and daughters) of the Most High God

are not called to be

complacent

wishy-washy

reactive

or unpredictable.

N.E.V.E.R.

Do you hear me?

(I am mostly talking to myself right now..)

NEVER

There is no place in scripture that He calls us to sit around living our life

ignoring the hurting and broken

not seeing the hungry and dying

not going to the lonely and lost.

All throughout the Word He commands us to 

Go

Feed

Preach

Care for...

He has impressed so powerfully on my heart these past few weeks...

just because we aren't seeing the lost or hurting

doesn't mean they aren't there.

He sees...

He cares...

He has put His Spirit inside of us

to awaken our spirit

to see what He sees!

So, how does "Not on my watch" connect to this?

Well, dear ones~

there is a world full of hurting, broken, hungry, dying, lonely, and lost...

Just waiting...

Waiting for someone to pray, to support, to go!

We can all do our part - and we all have a part to do!

NOT ON MY WATCH!

I will pray!

 

I will support those who go!

(picture from the wonderful work of the International Voice of the Orphan)

I will go and do what He calls me to do!

My heart cry during this time of fasting...

NOT ON MY WATCH!

For my marriage...

For my bio children...

For my foster children...

For the fosters yet to come...

For the orphans that only the Holy One can see...

That same bloggy friend shared this scripture from Luke 18:1-7

The Parable of the Persistent Widow

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.  He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’   

 “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think,  yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’”

And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says.  And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?

Wow!

Now, I have read this scripture many times before.

Many times I'm sure.

But today - in the third week of our corporate fast at church - 

today it was like "YES!"

I get it, God!

We must keep going...

never stop praying...

never stop giving...

never stop going...

Purposeful.

Intentional.

Consistent.

And my prayer - just as my sister as sparked this within me

that at least one will be sparked as well.

   

Turning the Page

Knowing His timing...

trusting in His path...

surrendering to the choice...

The time has come that we turned the page on Mike and Jacob's time with us.

Their time has been a roller coaster of emotion.

But though it all I have continually asked God to be in the center...

to guide our decisions along the way.

Some time ago, God gave me a vision of a child who I needed to be praying for.

A child who was already in their situation...

hurting...

alone...

but not yet found.

In surrendering the boys in their timing we can then make room for God to move.

Fill our home again, Lord Jesus

...with the hurting

...with the lost

...with those who need defending

We dedicate our home and time to You, Lord.

 

Preparing for a Change

By all accountings - this Monday (or so) should be the Dewey's last day here...

I am very settled in my heart - 

I have felt that their time was slipping away.

They have been here so long that they feel so much a "part" of what my family is now...

but they have always felt like that extra "part".

I knew from the beginning that God was not ordaining them to stay

but now that the time is upon us I am kind of lost of what I should be feeling.

We have celebrated so many of their firsts...

First birthday party attended!

 First time visiting a farm...

First time camping...

 and fishing!

We've celebrated birthdays...

 Fun-filled family days..

 And first day of school!

School performances...

 and memory-making holidays.

We are trusting that God is looking out for your whole family

and praying that your mom and grandmom come to a knowledge of Christ

from the example that we have placed in you

and that He has written in your hearts.

And we are praying even now for that little one that He needs us to have the open bed space for...

dear one, He is watching and protecting you!

We will see you soon...

Learning to focus on Him...

A dear sister in the Lord always reminds me that everything has a season.

Which means that everything has a beginning and an end...

Problem being, when you are in the middle of "it" you have no idea when the end is.

The breakthrough could be right at our next breath

OR

Years away.

I always find comfort in knowing that He has ordained everything to work in seasons...

Faithful ones... we are promised an end!

A wonderful teaching was shared with me some time ago that brought me so much comfort

This beautiful woman of God shared about the new day that He gives us...

did you ever think about that our new day begins in the darkness?

That God in all His wisdom gave us this as an example?

To those of us sitting in the darkness of our troubles...

To those of us burdened in prayer...

 To those of us hurting with no apparent end to the pain...

The morning is coming!

His new day begins in the darkness and He begins the changes in our lives during our dark times too.

I know that I am called to fast, pray, and fast and pray...

to bring my life more and more in obedience to Him...

to continually surrender myself to His Spirit and guidance...

NOT to try and fix the situation

NOT to try and fix the person who I think needs to change

To focus on Him.

PERIOD

So, dear Lord, I am holding on... you have promised me a new day

and you are always faithful! 

Another Chapter Closing...

 Sadly, another good-bye has been made.  

Bill's mom, Rita, left us on December 19th. 

Such wonderful memories she left us with - but her earthly body had been slowly deteriorating.

 

Thank you, Mom, for your time of giving to your family...

Letting Him be My Rock

I have to be honest here... there are some trials going on over here.

Major trials.

Upturning the peace trials.

Could send me into a pity-party kind of trials.

BUT

Not the kind of trials that are outward in appearance...

or the kind that is obvious to an outsider looking in...

Sometimes our trials are from within.

Just swirling inside of us.

Well - that is me these days.

As I sit and try to quiet my spirit before Him one of my favorite scriptures keeps surfacing...

Psalm 61:1-4

Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer.

From the end of the earth will I cry to You, 

when my heart is overwhelmed and fainting; 

lead me to the rock that is higher than I [yes, a rock that is too high for me].

For You have been a shelter and a refuge for me, a strong tower against the adversary. 

 I will dwell in Your tabernacle forever; 

let me find refuge and trust in the shelter of Your wings.  

Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!

 It is only IN HIM where my peace can be found.

And although I don't FEEL peace - 

I know that He IS peace.

 He is my refuge. 

I will hide myself in You, precious Savior and let You be the Rock for my spirit!

Amen?  Amen!

The Big One is coming - for many!

Well we have a bunch of ONES coming up!

Our princess Amara will be turning one...

Along with her precious sister, Aiyanna....

AND

Connor!

Wow - that is a lot of ONES!

I thank God daily for all He has brought in this year....

He has gifted us with so much and so many smiles and hugs...

Beyond measure!

We are continuing to pray for Aiyanna as she is being touched and healed by her Heavenly Father...

We love you, sweetie!  

What a year!  What a Wonderful Savior!

Keeping My Eyes Fixed on Him

Just in case you didn't already know - 

Life is hard.

Life is not fair.

Trials will always be with us.

Not to burst anyone's happy bubble... but all of these statements are true.

BUT GOD!

These are my favorite two words in the Bible.

Holy words.

Words of the Creator of heaven and Earth stepping in...

BUT GOD!

He takes a situation that our human eyes sees as useless...

But God!

He sees our failures and shortcomings...

But God!

He understands the frailness of our bodies...

But God!

He sees the needs deep within our hears as of more importance than the ones in front of our noses...

But God!

 When the trials of this life are 

so loud

so strong

so present

so heavy

What are we called to do?

"My son, give attention to my words;
Incline your ear to my sayings

 Do not let them depart from your eyes;
Keep them in the midst of your heart;For they are life to those who find them,
And health to all their flesh."

Proverbs 4:20-22

We can CHOOSE...

To focus on the blessings He has brought...

To read His Word and trust in Him...

To speak words of Life into our world...

To humble ourselves enough to know that He has all the answers...

 To love Him so much that we can lay down EVERYTHING...

Our dreams...

Our plans...

Our desires...

Our wants...

To serve.  Period.

Serve Him - without measure, without bounderies.

We are all called.

Sadly, only few will respond.

Beyond our walls there is a lost and dying world...

 Lost in sin...

Lost in lies...

Lost in despair...

Where is their hope?  

Who will show them the way?

There are children - lost and alone...

 Who will step in and care for them?

There are children dying for lack of food and care...

 Who will feed them - who will go?

Will you challenge yourself with me?

Let's take ONE STEP

If everyone took that one step...

WOW!

What an amazing world we would be transforming...

Through Him!
For His Glory!

This is His heart!

 And, as we are taking those steps for Him

each of our problems and worries and cares

may not go away...

but they will certainly fade away.

 

Thankfullness...!

Well, a dear sweet bloggy-spiritual-mama-to-many encouraged us to write a Thanksgiving post.
At first I actually wasn't going to.
Not that I am not thankful for many things, 

but I just didn't feel like it...

Plain.and.simple.

Then God brought the story of the Israelites to my heart...
so many times God told them to set up altars to mark God's faithfulness.

So here I am...
going to set up some altars declaring His faithfulness in what He has done
and secure in the promise for what He has promised He will do.

First and foremost, I am thankful to my Savior who loved me
when I didn't even know who He was.  Who called me out and touched my life -
not because I deserved it in any way...
but because He loved me so much He wanted me to be with him...

I am thankful for my husband that I was blessed with!
Not that our life has ever been perfect,
but I know that he is who my savior called me to be with
and that He is and always will be the center of our lives...

I am in wonder that my savior has blessed the deepest desire of my heart - to be a mother.
He took an area of my life that brought me pain and shame and made me a mom
to my step-children,
my bio children,
and now to these precious foster children
that He has entrusted me with... I still sit in awe!

For the provision that He makes in my life on a daily basis....
for the lessons learned -
sometimes gently,
sometimes not -
but always cherished along the pathway.

I am immensely thankful for the body of believers He has allowed me to be a part of -
my precious church family,
for all of our lessons learned together
and the growth we are still progressing through...
thankful that beyond all - He is Lord of it all.

I cannot begin to touch on my thankfulness for His mercy,
His long-suffering,
His love that NEVER fails,
His truths that have no end...

To my Savior, my All - it is all for YOU!

Amen!

Making the Difference...

Now that God has been opening my eyes, I have spent so much time feeling very overwhelmed.  I'm sure I'm not alone.  We are just a mass of good-intending Christians... but when we are faced with REAL problems that face others around the world we just don't know what to do.  Yes, we can be amazing when we do a "collection drive" and give piles and piles out of our excess.  But what can we REALLY do?

Most (sadly) feel completely satisfied that they have done their good deed and that they received a check mark in that spiritual box marked "giving".  Yet I can't seem to get these two little facts out of my daily conscience...

163,000,000 orphans worldwide
15,000 children die EVERY DAY due to starvation

One very familiar story has been echoing in my spirit... the story of the starfish on the beach...

An old man walks along a beach and sees a young boy throwing something into the water. As he approaches, he sees hundreds of starfish lining the beach, washed in from the tide. The young boy is walking along, throwing the starfish back into the water one by one. The old man asks why he bothers, it’s pointless. There are too many starfish to help them all. As he flings a starfish deep into the water, the young boy replies, “It mattered to that one.”

I, just like that old man, sometimes feel like the numbers are so many... how can I help?

All those lost and lonely children!   All those that I can't feed with my hands!  What can I do?

And yet, Jesus has reveled to me the same answer that the young boy gave to the old man...

I can make a difference to ONE.

I can't take in all 163 million orphans, but I can stand in the gap for those who need me to.

I can't bring food to the 15 thousand who die every year, but I can make sacrifices in our family and teach my children to sacrifice in order to do my part financially to support those who are on the front lines of this battle against starvation.

Who will join me?  Every one we help really does matter!

Learning to Set (and Receive) Limits

Ok - Let's face it, we all want to be "in control" of our own lives.  But we never even consider the cost of that control.

Just to be transparent for a bit... being a parent is hard.  And I don't think I would have one single parent disagree with that statement.

Being a FOSTER parent, however, has got to be the hardest thing that God has ever called me to do.  We all know through our christian walk the saying that "our lives are not our own" refers to the fact that we were purchased by the blood and now we are in forever debt to serve Him.  And serve Him well!

Fostering has brought about an even deeper challenge.  With many, many more people involved in their lives, each of them needing reports, phone conversations, visitations, appointments, and meetings... our lives here on the homefront (which were already exceedingly busy) have just tumbled and tossed in the wind.

God has been laying a challenge before me often these days... are my days really dedicated to Him and His call for me to fulfill?  What do I spend most of my time doing?  What is most important to me?  What is most important to Him?

There is only one thing that He has commanded and that should be my life goal.  Everything else should be secondary.  Schedules and meetings and visitations and chaos will all pass away.  Only what we do IN HIM remains.

Did we serve Him?  Do we touch others with His touch?  Do we focus more on ourselves than we do on serving others for His glory?

Who needs our time?  Who needs our money?  Who needs a touch of Jesus here on earth that they will never experience without us stepping out in faith?

Thank you, Lord for opening up my eyes.  Help me, as I begin to pare my life down to my single purpose.

The Journey is in the Waiting

Well, isn't it just like our God to set visions and dreams before our eyes and then have us wait?  Such a strange process - the waiting is.

During one very late night (or was it an extremely early one?) the Lord woke me up.  I began to feel a pressing in my heart to begin to pray for the child that was coming to us - one that will be placed with us.  I was told that this precious one needs my prayers - that she was already in whatever "bad" situation she was to be rescued from... just that no one has found her yet.  Tears welled in my eyes for this precious one that I don't even know yet.  But our Heavenly Father knows exactly where she is...

Not one of us are beyond His eyes or His gentle touch.  So I began praying...

Of course in my simple mind, that would mean that everything was going well with the Dewey's mother and they would be moving home by the end of September as planned.  Famous last words, right?

But I do know that these delays are not frustrating to Him.... the creator of the universe knows every thought and intent of our heart....so this is just moving along to Him.  To us earthly creatures, however, waiting is soooooo hard!

Do you know that the amplified Bible uses the word "wait" over 180 times?  People all through out the old and new testaments waiting... waiting on people, waiting on circumstances, waiting on God...waiting....

So here we are... called to do something great....wait.  But somehow I think a lot of our lessons in life and a lot of our growth in Him comes in the waiting, don't you?

Please join me in prayer for the safety of our next treasure to come...

Oh! There You Are!

Well we were blessed to be able to visit Aiyana!  This precious baby has endured so much in her little life and is struggling to gain any momentum to advance in her development.  Still on a ventilator and a feeding tube, we were led to believe that she was completely blind and completely deaf and did not interact with the outside world at all.  So sad, they said (since the twins were born completely healthy) - but we knew that God was calling us to be there for her.  She is considered "non-placeable", but we knew that He was calling us there.  Even the littlest one is not beyond His thoughts.

 Amara in her amazing cuteness, kissed Aiyana up her arm and on her head many times.  I'm not sure what she was thinking, but we could only assume it was "Oh!  There you are!"  Knit in their mother's womb together, enduring repeated trauma, month-long hospital stays, and another month in rehab together, they became separated only when we took Amara into our care.  Who knows what she was thinking as her sister was no longer by her side...

 Won't you join us in prayer for Aiyana?  We fully believe in the power of prayer!  She is precious to our Heavenly Father!  And, by the way.... she was following us with her eyes, whispering babbles to us (the trach would prevent any sound), and responded to our voices.  Our God is so much bigger!!!

God Still Moves Mountains...

Ok... this one was an answer to prayer that I hadn't even posted about yet, but we had shared with a few precious members of church for prayer.... but I think I should back up just a bit...

Amara has a twin sister.  They were both beaten very severely... . thus Amara's 11 fractured vertebrae, fractured femur, fractured rib, and fractured orbit around her eye.  Such a rough first 2 months of her life.  But her twin sister, Aiyana, suffered much, much more.  We are still unsure of her entire medical condition, but she is (short of God's amazing healing hand) hugely impacted and seemingly doomed to a life in a long-term care facility.  Our hearts break for her and despite the fact that the judge originally ruled that we could not visit her, we decided to continue to ask. 

I went to the DYFS meeting last week and asked again.  They requested that I write a letter for the judge to review before the next court date in late October.  I agreed and thought that this was my next course of action.

Amara's (and Aiyana's) case worker came out Friday and surprised us with some wonderful news.  Despite what the judge had stated, the supervisors at the DYFS office had made an executive decision to allow us unrestricted access to her!  Wow, what an awe-inspiring God who just flung open that door!!!  We are very excited to find some time and take the children up to meet her.   Oh, to touch her little broken body and pray for her in person!

Please continue to pray with us for Aiyana's healing.  We serve a great God, who does not look at situations with human eyes.  I am praying with the eyes of faith, where He healed the blind with one touch and raised the dead with a spoken word.  He is the Alpha and the Omega and none of this is beyond Him.  To God be the glory!

Putting Our Hope in Him!

It's officially the beginning of the end for the Dewey's in our home.  It is very bittersweet.  They will be missed, but we always knew that they would be only with us for a season.  We are down to a countdown of two to four weeks until the mother's housing is approved and she is given a move-in date.  They will continue to be in our prayers as a family.

Amara has a meeting coming up to discuss permanency!  We have no idea what this meeting will hold, but thankfully we know Who holds the outcome in His hands.  In this horrible, shaky world we live in, I am so thankful to have a personal relationship with the One who holds the universe in His palm, yet loved us enough to come down to our level to allow us to fellowship with Him.  What an awesome God we serve!

We will share the news from the meeting and look forward to the others that God will bring through our home.

Next Steps.... Literal and Figuratively!

The Dewey's mom has hit a milestone... she got a job!  They also went to court and granted her unsupervised visitation.  All of these are important steps in God allowing the reunification of this family.  Next for prayer... she needs to secure appropriate housing for herself and the four boys.

Amara has begun crawling!  Seems as if the arrival of her first two! teeth have spured on much developmentally and she is now up and moving :-)  Therapy is continuing to work on strengthening her core and other skills she missed development-wise, but she is doing wonderfully!

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to be a part of this process.  Prepare my heart for what you would have me do to serve You here.

Mine, But Not Mine....

ok - well this month has been filled with joys and struggles, but the time is certainly flying by!

Jake "graduated" from early intervention... and with flying colors.  Such a blessing to see how he has grown and changed and learned sooooo much - even in his short time with us.  (he's even going potty now...!)  Mike is continuing to progress as well.  BUT - so many struggles still there for both boys.  All this emotional turmoil has taken a toll on them as they swing between obstinate and submissive... they still struggle to find themselves here. 

Amara, on the other hand, is thriving!  Her physical therapy is going so well that her development is catching up quickly to where she would have been without the physical trauma in her life.  We continue to pray for guidance in helping her develop and for God to make a way for her to become her forever family.

Our hearts, our home, our yours, Lord!  Please continue to work on hearts here to become open to Your will, Lord...