Another Chapter Closing...

 Sadly, another good-bye has been made.  

Bill's mom, Rita, left us on December 19th. 

Such wonderful memories she left us with - but her earthly body had been slowly deteriorating.

 

Thank you, Mom, for your time of giving to your family...

Letting Him be My Rock

I have to be honest here... there are some trials going on over here.

Major trials.

Upturning the peace trials.

Could send me into a pity-party kind of trials.

BUT

Not the kind of trials that are outward in appearance...

or the kind that is obvious to an outsider looking in...

Sometimes our trials are from within.

Just swirling inside of us.

Well - that is me these days.

As I sit and try to quiet my spirit before Him one of my favorite scriptures keeps surfacing...

Psalm 61:1-4

Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer.

From the end of the earth will I cry to You, 

when my heart is overwhelmed and fainting; 

lead me to the rock that is higher than I [yes, a rock that is too high for me].

For You have been a shelter and a refuge for me, a strong tower against the adversary. 

 I will dwell in Your tabernacle forever; 

let me find refuge and trust in the shelter of Your wings.  

Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!

 It is only IN HIM where my peace can be found.

And although I don't FEEL peace - 

I know that He IS peace.

 He is my refuge. 

I will hide myself in You, precious Savior and let You be the Rock for my spirit!

Amen?  Amen!

The Big One is coming - for many!

Well we have a bunch of ONES coming up!

Our princess Amara will be turning one...

Along with her precious sister, Aiyanna....

AND

Connor!

Wow - that is a lot of ONES!

I thank God daily for all He has brought in this year....

He has gifted us with so much and so many smiles and hugs...

Beyond measure!

We are continuing to pray for Aiyanna as she is being touched and healed by her Heavenly Father...

We love you, sweetie!  

What a year!  What a Wonderful Savior!

Keeping My Eyes Fixed on Him

Just in case you didn't already know - 

Life is hard.

Life is not fair.

Trials will always be with us.

Not to burst anyone's happy bubble... but all of these statements are true.

BUT GOD!

These are my favorite two words in the Bible.

Holy words.

Words of the Creator of heaven and Earth stepping in...

BUT GOD!

He takes a situation that our human eyes sees as useless...

But God!

He sees our failures and shortcomings...

But God!

He understands the frailness of our bodies...

But God!

He sees the needs deep within our hears as of more importance than the ones in front of our noses...

But God!

 When the trials of this life are 

so loud

so strong

so present

so heavy

What are we called to do?

"My son, give attention to my words;
Incline your ear to my sayings

 Do not let them depart from your eyes;
Keep them in the midst of your heart;For they are life to those who find them,
And health to all their flesh."

Proverbs 4:20-22

We can CHOOSE...

To focus on the blessings He has brought...

To read His Word and trust in Him...

To speak words of Life into our world...

To humble ourselves enough to know that He has all the answers...

 To love Him so much that we can lay down EVERYTHING...

Our dreams...

Our plans...

Our desires...

Our wants...

To serve.  Period.

Serve Him - without measure, without bounderies.

We are all called.

Sadly, only few will respond.

Beyond our walls there is a lost and dying world...

 Lost in sin...

Lost in lies...

Lost in despair...

Where is their hope?  

Who will show them the way?

There are children - lost and alone...

 Who will step in and care for them?

There are children dying for lack of food and care...

 Who will feed them - who will go?

Will you challenge yourself with me?

Let's take ONE STEP

If everyone took that one step...

WOW!

What an amazing world we would be transforming...

Through Him!
For His Glory!

This is His heart!

 And, as we are taking those steps for Him

each of our problems and worries and cares

may not go away...

but they will certainly fade away.

 

Thankfullness...!

Well, a dear sweet bloggy-spiritual-mama-to-many encouraged us to write a Thanksgiving post.
At first I actually wasn't going to.
Not that I am not thankful for many things, 

but I just didn't feel like it...

Plain.and.simple.

Then God brought the story of the Israelites to my heart...
so many times God told them to set up altars to mark God's faithfulness.

So here I am...
going to set up some altars declaring His faithfulness in what He has done
and secure in the promise for what He has promised He will do.

First and foremost, I am thankful to my Savior who loved me
when I didn't even know who He was.  Who called me out and touched my life -
not because I deserved it in any way...
but because He loved me so much He wanted me to be with him...

I am thankful for my husband that I was blessed with!
Not that our life has ever been perfect,
but I know that he is who my savior called me to be with
and that He is and always will be the center of our lives...

I am in wonder that my savior has blessed the deepest desire of my heart - to be a mother.
He took an area of my life that brought me pain and shame and made me a mom
to my step-children,
my bio children,
and now to these precious foster children
that He has entrusted me with... I still sit in awe!

For the provision that He makes in my life on a daily basis....
for the lessons learned -
sometimes gently,
sometimes not -
but always cherished along the pathway.

I am immensely thankful for the body of believers He has allowed me to be a part of -
my precious church family,
for all of our lessons learned together
and the growth we are still progressing through...
thankful that beyond all - He is Lord of it all.

I cannot begin to touch on my thankfulness for His mercy,
His long-suffering,
His love that NEVER fails,
His truths that have no end...

To my Savior, my All - it is all for YOU!

Amen!

Making the Difference...

Now that God has been opening my eyes, I have spent so much time feeling very overwhelmed.  I'm sure I'm not alone.  We are just a mass of good-intending Christians... but when we are faced with REAL problems that face others around the world we just don't know what to do.  Yes, we can be amazing when we do a "collection drive" and give piles and piles out of our excess.  But what can we REALLY do?

Most (sadly) feel completely satisfied that they have done their good deed and that they received a check mark in that spiritual box marked "giving".  Yet I can't seem to get these two little facts out of my daily conscience...

163,000,000 orphans worldwide
15,000 children die EVERY DAY due to starvation

One very familiar story has been echoing in my spirit... the story of the starfish on the beach...

An old man walks along a beach and sees a young boy throwing something into the water. As he approaches, he sees hundreds of starfish lining the beach, washed in from the tide. The young boy is walking along, throwing the starfish back into the water one by one. The old man asks why he bothers, it’s pointless. There are too many starfish to help them all. As he flings a starfish deep into the water, the young boy replies, “It mattered to that one.”

I, just like that old man, sometimes feel like the numbers are so many... how can I help?

All those lost and lonely children!   All those that I can't feed with my hands!  What can I do?

And yet, Jesus has reveled to me the same answer that the young boy gave to the old man...

I can make a difference to ONE.

I can't take in all 163 million orphans, but I can stand in the gap for those who need me to.

I can't bring food to the 15 thousand who die every year, but I can make sacrifices in our family and teach my children to sacrifice in order to do my part financially to support those who are on the front lines of this battle against starvation.

Who will join me?  Every one we help really does matter!

Learning to Set (and Receive) Limits

Ok - Let's face it, we all want to be "in control" of our own lives.  But we never even consider the cost of that control.

Just to be transparent for a bit... being a parent is hard.  And I don't think I would have one single parent disagree with that statement.

Being a FOSTER parent, however, has got to be the hardest thing that God has ever called me to do.  We all know through our christian walk the saying that "our lives are not our own" refers to the fact that we were purchased by the blood and now we are in forever debt to serve Him.  And serve Him well!

Fostering has brought about an even deeper challenge.  With many, many more people involved in their lives, each of them needing reports, phone conversations, visitations, appointments, and meetings... our lives here on the homefront (which were already exceedingly busy) have just tumbled and tossed in the wind.

God has been laying a challenge before me often these days... are my days really dedicated to Him and His call for me to fulfill?  What do I spend most of my time doing?  What is most important to me?  What is most important to Him?

There is only one thing that He has commanded and that should be my life goal.  Everything else should be secondary.  Schedules and meetings and visitations and chaos will all pass away.  Only what we do IN HIM remains.

Did we serve Him?  Do we touch others with His touch?  Do we focus more on ourselves than we do on serving others for His glory?

Who needs our time?  Who needs our money?  Who needs a touch of Jesus here on earth that they will never experience without us stepping out in faith?

Thank you, Lord for opening up my eyes.  Help me, as I begin to pare my life down to my single purpose.

The Journey is in the Waiting

Well, isn't it just like our God to set visions and dreams before our eyes and then have us wait?  Such a strange process - the waiting is.

During one very late night (or was it an extremely early one?) the Lord woke me up.  I began to feel a pressing in my heart to begin to pray for the child that was coming to us - one that will be placed with us.  I was told that this precious one needs my prayers - that she was already in whatever "bad" situation she was to be rescued from... just that no one has found her yet.  Tears welled in my eyes for this precious one that I don't even know yet.  But our Heavenly Father knows exactly where she is...

Not one of us are beyond His eyes or His gentle touch.  So I began praying...

Of course in my simple mind, that would mean that everything was going well with the Dewey's mother and they would be moving home by the end of September as planned.  Famous last words, right?

But I do know that these delays are not frustrating to Him.... the creator of the universe knows every thought and intent of our heart....so this is just moving along to Him.  To us earthly creatures, however, waiting is soooooo hard!

Do you know that the amplified Bible uses the word "wait" over 180 times?  People all through out the old and new testaments waiting... waiting on people, waiting on circumstances, waiting on God...waiting....

So here we are... called to do something great....wait.  But somehow I think a lot of our lessons in life and a lot of our growth in Him comes in the waiting, don't you?

Please join me in prayer for the safety of our next treasure to come...

Oh! There You Are!

Well we were blessed to be able to visit Aiyana!  This precious baby has endured so much in her little life and is struggling to gain any momentum to advance in her development.  Still on a ventilator and a feeding tube, we were led to believe that she was completely blind and completely deaf and did not interact with the outside world at all.  So sad, they said (since the twins were born completely healthy) - but we knew that God was calling us to be there for her.  She is considered "non-placeable", but we knew that He was calling us there.  Even the littlest one is not beyond His thoughts.

 Amara in her amazing cuteness, kissed Aiyana up her arm and on her head many times.  I'm not sure what she was thinking, but we could only assume it was "Oh!  There you are!"  Knit in their mother's womb together, enduring repeated trauma, month-long hospital stays, and another month in rehab together, they became separated only when we took Amara into our care.  Who knows what she was thinking as her sister was no longer by her side...

 Won't you join us in prayer for Aiyana?  We fully believe in the power of prayer!  She is precious to our Heavenly Father!  And, by the way.... she was following us with her eyes, whispering babbles to us (the trach would prevent any sound), and responded to our voices.  Our God is so much bigger!!!

God Still Moves Mountains...

Ok... this one was an answer to prayer that I hadn't even posted about yet, but we had shared with a few precious members of church for prayer.... but I think I should back up just a bit...

Amara has a twin sister.  They were both beaten very severely... . thus Amara's 11 fractured vertebrae, fractured femur, fractured rib, and fractured orbit around her eye.  Such a rough first 2 months of her life.  But her twin sister, Aiyana, suffered much, much more.  We are still unsure of her entire medical condition, but she is (short of God's amazing healing hand) hugely impacted and seemingly doomed to a life in a long-term care facility.  Our hearts break for her and despite the fact that the judge originally ruled that we could not visit her, we decided to continue to ask. 

I went to the DYFS meeting last week and asked again.  They requested that I write a letter for the judge to review before the next court date in late October.  I agreed and thought that this was my next course of action.

Amara's (and Aiyana's) case worker came out Friday and surprised us with some wonderful news.  Despite what the judge had stated, the supervisors at the DYFS office had made an executive decision to allow us unrestricted access to her!  Wow, what an awe-inspiring God who just flung open that door!!!  We are very excited to find some time and take the children up to meet her.   Oh, to touch her little broken body and pray for her in person!

Please continue to pray with us for Aiyana's healing.  We serve a great God, who does not look at situations with human eyes.  I am praying with the eyes of faith, where He healed the blind with one touch and raised the dead with a spoken word.  He is the Alpha and the Omega and none of this is beyond Him.  To God be the glory!

Putting Our Hope in Him!

It's officially the beginning of the end for the Dewey's in our home.  It is very bittersweet.  They will be missed, but we always knew that they would be only with us for a season.  We are down to a countdown of two to four weeks until the mother's housing is approved and she is given a move-in date.  They will continue to be in our prayers as a family.

Amara has a meeting coming up to discuss permanency!  We have no idea what this meeting will hold, but thankfully we know Who holds the outcome in His hands.  In this horrible, shaky world we live in, I am so thankful to have a personal relationship with the One who holds the universe in His palm, yet loved us enough to come down to our level to allow us to fellowship with Him.  What an awesome God we serve!

We will share the news from the meeting and look forward to the others that God will bring through our home.

Next Steps.... Literal and Figuratively!

The Dewey's mom has hit a milestone... she got a job!  They also went to court and granted her unsupervised visitation.  All of these are important steps in God allowing the reunification of this family.  Next for prayer... she needs to secure appropriate housing for herself and the four boys.

Amara has begun crawling!  Seems as if the arrival of her first two! teeth have spured on much developmentally and she is now up and moving :-)  Therapy is continuing to work on strengthening her core and other skills she missed development-wise, but she is doing wonderfully!

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to be a part of this process.  Prepare my heart for what you would have me do to serve You here.

Mine, But Not Mine....

ok - well this month has been filled with joys and struggles, but the time is certainly flying by!

Jake "graduated" from early intervention... and with flying colors.  Such a blessing to see how he has grown and changed and learned sooooo much - even in his short time with us.  (he's even going potty now...!)  Mike is continuing to progress as well.  BUT - so many struggles still there for both boys.  All this emotional turmoil has taken a toll on them as they swing between obstinate and submissive... they still struggle to find themselves here. 

Amara, on the other hand, is thriving!  Her physical therapy is going so well that her development is catching up quickly to where she would have been without the physical trauma in her life.  We continue to pray for guidance in helping her develop and for God to make a way for her to become her forever family.

Our hearts, our home, our yours, Lord!  Please continue to work on hearts here to become open to Your will, Lord...

(More than) a bit longer...

We were asked if the boys could stay longer than anticipated.  We (of course) said yes.  Our hearts are surrendered for your using, Lord.  We serve a God of reconciliation and we praise Him for allowing us to stand in the gap and pray for their mom as she tries to put her life back together again.

We thank God for His hand of protection over these boys in bringing to light the (serious) problems with their father and the unsafe situation they were almost released back into.  He is so faithful and good.   Now the mom can take responsibility for herself, and eventually create a new home for her boys. 

Until then, we are still a family of 8!

God's Amazing Miracle!

What a blessing it has been to witness His healing touch upon this precious child!  When we received Amara, we were told that her vertebrae were not healing well and that the neck brace would be on for at least another 8 weeks.  I said "that's okay" (to which I was met with strange looks)... "we didn't know she existed.  Now she will have love AND prayers!  She will be fine."  Again, polite nods.

We took Amara for her repeat xrays in preparation for her neurosurgeon appointment on Tuesday the 22nd.  God in His amazing mercy acted in a way we never imagined... I went into the appointment with her and the doctor (after reviewing her films) said that her healing was amazing and that she didn't need the neck brace anymore!

No words can express my love for a merciful savior.  I thank you, Lord, for allowing us to be part of your will for this precious one!

Such a Joy!

Who knew?  I am just marveling at how God has planted this little precious one in our home... I feel like she was exactly who we were all missing.   Thank you, Lord, for allowing us to minister to this precious one. 

BTW... this was one of my best Mother's Days EVER!  Thank you, Jesus! (and thank you to my dh and all my children that made my day special!)

"He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD."
Psalm 113:9 NIV

SHE IS HERE! (well she came on Friday!)

 Our newest precious one was added on Friday.  Very overwhelming to think of all she has been through in her so precious, young life.  Scars from old cigarette burns, scars from her broken occipital bone on her face, and a neck brace on 24 hours a day for three broken vertebrae are just a few of her burdens.  Her parents named her Amara, which means bitter.  I just don't have the heart to call her that.  She is precious and sweet and I don't believe for a minute that God saved her (and her twin sister, but that is another long story) from death just for her to grow up with the burden of bitterness.  We will see if the Lord will have her stay here, and then we will have the opportunity to change her name for something more appropriate to give God the glory of saving her.  Until then, she is our "cutie-pie", "Angel-girl", or any other cutsie name we can find.  No bitterness here!  Only God's goodness and grace :-)

Waiting for Number 6 to Arrive!

Well.... we just met the most adorable baby girl who we will be bringing home on Friday!  God is so good and protected her - even with a broken neck, she is wonderful and friendly and lively.  We are praying for her and her twin sister (who is much worse off medically)... so thankful that He spared their lives.  So much hurt and pain for such young lives of 4 months!

We can't wait to go get our newest princess on Friday!  Love you already, girly!

Being a Blessing - Standing in the Gap

Time with Jacob and Michael seems to be flying by~ only a few short weeks more and the possibility of letting them go comes up.  My heart is sad at the thought of loosing them and missing them dearly, but at the same time, I am amazed and humbled at the thought that we were given the privilege of standing in the gap for them while their family was restored... their marriage repaired and the family reunited!

At the same time, we have been so thrilled at giving the children not only a safe and loving home to stay in, but many fun firsts!

First time in a bouncy place!

First time on a farm!

First time experiencing church classes and dramas!

Thank you, Lord, for the privilege of serving Your children!  Please continue to give us grace and strength to complete your call.

Running the Race

As we all continue to try and settle into the new life that God has asked of us, there is a new voice (well old voice!) who is calling out.  We are called to run the race!  This calling is not a sprint.  It is a long-suffering, highly "inconvenienced" road that we must run without ever knowing what or when the race will end.  We are called to run it.  Not control it, but humbly submit ourselves to His call and continue to depend on Him on the good days and the bad.

Take our sacrifice, Lord!  We love to be used by you to send your love into the world.  Prepare us for the race and the struggles that are ahead.  Let us lean on you at every twist and turn.  This is Your calling Lord, and You will provide all that we need to sustain through the journey!